{"id":95,"date":"2026-10-21T20:13:51","date_gmt":"2026-10-21T20:13:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/?p=95"},"modified":"2026-10-21T20:13:51","modified_gmt":"2026-10-21T20:13:51","slug":"chapter-4-my-now-or-never-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/2026\/10\/21\/chapter-4-my-now-or-never-baby\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 4: My Now or Never Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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<\/a>I launched my new career, and my husband and I started talking about whether we wanted to add another child to our family of four. If we were going to have another child (or two), it was now or never. I wasn\u2019t as young as when my first two kids were born, but I wasn\u2019t too old to add to our family \u201corganically.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was fortunate. As soon as we decided the timing was right, I was pregnant. Our \u201cNow or Never\u201d baby was in the works!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having my third child was a completely different experience than the earlier two. His arrival was a story in itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We called it \u201cMr. Toad\u2019s Wild Ride.\u201d We lived 50 miles from the hospital where my doctor practiced. Just as everything started, a driving rainstorm rolled in. I also had two older kids to get situated because my Mom, who was coming from Connecticut to help, hadn\u2019t arrived yet. A family friend lived in town and my frantic phone call to temporarily re-home them was successful!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting everyone situated took about an hour. The drive in pouring rain took about 45 minutes. My labor lasted just two hours. We arrived at the hospital 15 minutes before Max was born, and my doctor made it with seven minutes to spare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Talk about cutting it close!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone in our family was thrilled to welcome Max. My coworkers and customers couldn\u2019t have been more supportive, either. Looking back, we were (and still are) blessed that we made this decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, adding a baby to an already busy family while building a career came with its challenges. There were lessons I learned along the way that remain relevant today, whether you\u2019re raising a family, leading a team, or simply trying to balance competing priorities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can’t pour from an empty cup<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I took six weeks off work, which was the time California allowed at the time without additional doctor support. Max was an easy, happy baby, but six weeks is still pretty early when you’re waking up in the middle of the night. I walked around in a fog for at least two months!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In hindsight, I didn’t take enough time off. We often convince ourselves that we can pick up right where we left off, but sometimes our bodies and minds need more time than our calendars allow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choose your partner wisely<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I could not have done this without a very involved partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband, Jim, was incredibly helpful, kind, and patient. He had his own law practice, but he made sure he was home to help with the kids, dinner, and chores so I could survive the demands of work and motherhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We communicated well and supported each other. If he needed more time for something, I made sure my workday ended in time for me to step in. He was also able to continue playing softball and running, which were important to keeping his head on straight!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We understood that we were in this together. Neither of us could do everything, but we could make sure neither of us had to do everything alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Childcare is not the place to compromise<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We researched childcare and after-school programs carefully, looking for environments that were safe, nurturing, and consistent with our values. And we did this for all the kids, not just Max.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When something wasn’t working, we made changes quickly. We didn’t become so attached to a convenient location or schedule that we were willing to compromise on what mattered most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Convenience is valuable. But not when it comes at the expense of your non-negotiables.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Build your backup systems before you need them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Every one of our kids had backup plans, and we developed a wonderful network of friends who helped each other with after-school pickups and childcare when needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having someone you can call in a desperate moment is invaluable. Sometimes you need a little help, and sometimes you need someone to save the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were fortunate to have people around us who understood that families thrive when their communities support them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stay connected, even when you’re apart<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

My role required periodic travel, and I took my first trip when Max was about two months old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What none of us realized was that Max wouldn’t take a bottle from a man. He would eat when his female babysitter fed him, but not from my husband. Jim tried, and he cried and cried. The baby, not Jim!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, they discovered that Max would take a bottle from his big sister, who was nearly nine at the time. Whew! Saved by big sister!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Travel also meant finding ways to stay connected when I wasn’t home. Later Max and I started reading paired books together over the phone. I also bought us both joke books, and we’d try out jokes on each other every night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those little rituals helped us stay connected and gave us something to share beyond the inevitable \u201cHow was your day?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sound familiar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, staying close isn’t about the amount of time you spend together. It’s about the small, consistent ways you show someone they’re on your mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Expect the unexpected<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

My family likes to tease me that if a disaster was going to happen, it would happen when I was on the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jon falling off the bleachers? I was in Ogden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara breaking up our dogs bloody fight? In Atlanta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Max being hospitalized with meningitis? I was in Toronto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That last one was the worst!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There were joyful surprises, too. One granddaughter and one grandson arrived while I was in Northern California. Apparently, my timing wasn’t always terrible!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you have a demanding career and a busy family, you learn that you can’t control everything. You can plan, prepare, and build support systems, but life will still throw you a few curveballs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laugh. A lot.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I once heard a lecture suggesting that laughing at least 17 times a day could improve your mental health. I don’t know whether 17 is the magic number, but we decided it was a pretty good goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whenever things got tense in our house, Jim and I would kid each other and ask whether we needed a few more laughs that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More often than not, the mood softened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humor didn’t make the challenges disappear, but it reminded us not to take every stressful moment quite so seriously. Sometimes, a little laughter is exactly what a family needs to reset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make time for yourself and each other<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

With three kids and both of us working full time, we were swamped. But we made a point of scheduling date night every other week. We also continued doing things we loved individually: reading books, walking, listening to music, sports, and cooking fun meals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time as a couple matters. Time alone matters, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We learned to compartmentalize. Time for the kids. Time for work. Time for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, life doesn’t always respect the boundaries we establish, but being intentional about protecting those different parts of our lives helped us keep our balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No regrets<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I’ve been asked whether I regret the timing of my last child, having three children, or continuing to work while they were growing up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Honestly, I have no regrets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve asked Max whether he ever looks back on his childhood and feels neglected. We have a special bond, and he’s very transparent with me. He acknowledges that I traveled a lot, but says he always felt loved and cherished by both of us. He never felt neglected or forgotten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My older kids cherish their brother and are so glad we decided to add him to our family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s a pretty wonderful outcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did mention that we’d considered two more children. When Jim broached the subject again about a year after Max was born, I told him it was his turn. Ha!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having kids in your 30s is much harder than kids in your 20s!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And through all of this, my career continued to flourish. I moved into management and was later tapped on the shoulder to become a VP.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn’t put my career on hold to have a family, and I didn’t put my family on hold to build a career. It wasn’t always easy, and I’m sure there were moments when I could have done better. But with a supportive partner, thoughtful planning, a great network, a sense of humor, and a willingness to adapt, we made it work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking back, I realize that this chapter of my life reinforced something I’ve carried into my leadership career: success rarely comes from doing everything yourself. It comes from building the right support system, being clear about what matters most, adapting when circumstances change, and remembering to enjoy the ride.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And what a ride it is!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I launched my new career, and my husband and I started talking about whether we wanted to add another child to our family of four. If we were going to have another child (or two), it was now or never. I wasn\u2019t as young as when my first two kids were born, but I wasn\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-95","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=95"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":97,"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95\/revisions\/97"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=95"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=95"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/betteryoucoaching.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=95"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}