Chapter One: “You have nothing to teach me!”

“You need to know. You have nothing to teach me!”

Nancy stood in the office with her hands on her hips looking at me angrily.  I was her newly named supervisor.  She had been doing her job for 30 years and was very annoyed that she was passed over for the Accounting Supervisor role.

My excitement about my role at the Getty Trust was tempered with a bit of anxiety already.  This was my first job as an official supervisor. Being a Girl Scout leader and assistant manager at an ice cream shop didn’t prepare me for this.  I didn’t get through my first week before Nancy came to set me straight.

Fortunately, my instincts kicked in. “I was not planning to teach you.  I was planning to work alongside you and learn from your know-how on Payroll.”

Her hands came off her hips as her anger started to dissipate. My heart raced as I waited for her next move.

“Ok, just so we’re on the same page. I wanted to make sure you knew that I am a great Payroll Manager and I’m good on my own” she admonished me as she walked out and shut the glass door firmly.

In a glass office, there is no room for showing how rattled I was after such an encounter. I sat there until my hands stopped shaking and went back to my own desk. I knew my work was cut out for me as a new manager.

When I got home, I called my mentor. My grandfather.

He was a comptroller for a regional aluminum window manufacturer in New Jersey.  Never without a cigar in his mouth, my grandfather was a sage businessman and mentored me as I began working “real jobs.”

He shared wisdom I kept with me throughout my career.  Here’s some of Marty’s wise countenance on managing people:

Don’t respond to anger with anger: He was proud that I didn’t snap back at Nancy. Rarely does meeting an angry employee with your own anger work.  It’s important to read the room. I knew Nancy was mad that I got the role and she didn’t.  Finding a path to get the air out of the anger balloon was critical for Nancy and I to move forward.

Follow up with curiosity: I could have tried to hash out the issue during such a confrontation, but another path was to follow up with curiosity.  Over the next weeks, I demonstrated interest and curiosity about Nancy’s role. Not in a creepy “I’m learning how to get rid of you” way, but as a genuine desire to understand and help.  She began to trust me and even asked me some questions.

Everyone has a story: One time Grandpa was interviewing a truck driver. Part of the interview was to go out for a test drive. The guy had an excellent driving record and references.

As they went driving through the urban area, they chatted about the driver’s family, where he grew up and he shared that he and his wife were caring for his elderly mother during off hours.  While they chatted, they passed under a trestle bridge, and the top of the truck struck the bridge.

While rattled, no one was hurt and the damage was repairable.

Grandpa hired the guy.  His logic was that anyone supporting his expanded family would never hit another bridge.  Grandpa wasn’t wrong, the truck driver celebrated over 10 years of accident-free driving with the aluminum company.

I didn’t know Nancy’s story yet, but Grandpa’s rule was that I needed to find out.

Nancy and I worked together for the next several years. As we migrated through two new payroll systems, she appreciated my collaboration with her.  New systems were hard for her, and one day she quietly pulled me aside for a hug and said “I guess you are my teacher now.” A long way from where we started.

Over the years I have kept all my grandfather’s guidance in mind as I worked with my teams.  His kindness and humanity made him a treasured leader of his employees. I don’t smoke cigars but hope I can strive to be just like Marty in most things.

A patient teacher, good listener, funny and quirky, and most of all, caring.  Grandpa truly helped get me off on the right foot.

This is Chapter One of a career that takes me from ledgers to software.  More to come.

End Note: Despite her passing away years ago, I changed Nancy’s name for this post.